Mockolian: Erratic Elevators

Trey Farley
tlf001@marietta.edu

*Please note that all names are made up for the sake of this article

Photo by Matt Peters

While it often seems difficult to find consistency in life, it is astronomically harder to find a reliable elevator on the campus of Marietta College. Tales of elevator entrapment are as prevalent as the squirrels and chipmunks that live along the Christy mall; the difference being that at least the squirrels go away for a few weeks during the winter, but on Marietta the elevators are always around and can decide to hibernate anytime they want.

“Yeah, just last week I was in Thomas trying to take the elevator to the second floor and sure enough it stopped right between the floors and I was stuck there for 40 minutes” junior Tyler Cline said.

Forty minutes may seem like a long time to be stuck in the elevator, but it’s nowhere close to how long seniors Brady Ashton and Carl Muncy had to spend in the Harrison elevator one Friday night.

“We were stuck there for three hours with nothing to eat or drink, but luckily we had plenty of quality Gilman food so we were prepared for the long haul” Ashton said. “Eventually we ended up sitting on the floor flicking a breath mint back and forth to pass the time until help came.”

Help did come, but not without its own issues. The key to bring the elevator down from its trapped position snapped as the rescue crew attempted to use it, further delaying rescue for the two men.

“It was funny at first, like how often does this really happen,” Muncy said. “But then we realized that unreliable elevators are a daily occurrence so we probably weren’t the first people to be stuck.”

Photo by Matt Peters

Finally, after two and a half hours the two were able to communicate with rescue personnel through the crack in the doors, however, this offered little help.

“They were asking us how we were doing and if we needed anything, like of course we’re miserable and all we want is out of this damn thing,” Muncy continued.

After being stuck in the elevator for the equivalent of three Stranger Things episodes, the duo was freed from the elevator through the escape hatch and greeted by a large crowd that had gathered to enjoy the misfortune of the “guys stuck in the ‘vator”.

While this example is certainly extraordinary even for this campus, elevator stoppages are still a daily issue for all students. In fact, dozens of students risk their time and sanity every day by taking the Mills elevator to the fifth floor not knowing if they’ll stop before their destination. Even more troubling is that the alternative to elevator transportation is simply unfathomable.

“If only there were some way we could get from floor to floor without taking the elevator” Ashton said.

Mock-Olian, Opinion