Hot Under the Collar

Throughout the course of history there have been many great advances in the fashion world, lighter fabrics, new colors, the wonder bra, but one piece of technology has really remained unchanged since it was invented. The zipper. Why it has remained unchanged I really don't know, personally I think that after 100 plus years of advancements in technology we would have a better solution to temporarily joining two sides of material.(velcro doesn't count. its only for swimsuits, spacesuits, and old people tennis shoes) We are stuck with the same crappy fastener that breaks super easily, rendering whatever object it is attached to completely useless. Did you ever have a sweet backpack that had a crappy zipper? Then you try loading in your sweet trapper keeper with the 3D geometric designs on the front and the zipper pops off! Yea, sucks doesn't it. From that point on your backpack is completely ruined. And you can forget about fixing it. Once that thing pops off its track there is no way in hell that you are going to get it back together. Occasionally one of your friends says "Oh I can fix it!" and he does. But then the next time you try to open the zipper it breaks! You try to mimic his method of zipper surgery and only worsen the problem.

Zippers also provide a health risk when on certain articles of clothing. Ever snagged yourself while zipping up? Hey guys, it's embarrassing when you get called out for your fly being down in public, but be careful! If you don't take the extra second to reevaluate where the goods are, you could be in big trouble when you try to make a quick zip up. I hope I don't have to remind anyone of a tragic scene in the hit film "There's Something About Mary".

I know every time I go to zip up my winter jacket on a blustery day I hope that I don't catch a piece of my chin or jugular in the zipper. That was until I recently stumbled upon a brand of jackets that fashion their zippers so they jet off to the side a little to avoid "zipper-burn". These Asymmetrical jackets are great and are true testaments to the notion that people are taking steps towards ridding the world of zipper casualties. But until we live in a zipper casualty free world, zippers will continue to make me hot under the collar